We live in a time where pretty much every human being we encounter is dealing with emotional trauma from previous experiences, usually originating in childhood. It is important to understand that everyone who acts out aggressively or is filled with hate, jealousy, anger, possessiveness and narcissism are all acting out of their unresolved pain and will continue to behave the same way until healing occurs.
It’s easy to blame those who abused us in the past (those who we were powerless to stop) for our current emotional state of being. It’s easy to shirk responsibility for our ongoing actions when we are simply repeating fear-based patterns of response. However, this never results in healing and will only offer an insidious type of self-delusion as you refuse to look at the pain that is causing you to behave the way you do.
At its worst, you will become the very thing that you despise, without even realizing it, as you act out your trauma in unhealthy ways. We can look at our society to see evidence of this playing out in a myriad of forms.
The Monsters We Know
All of the monsters we encounter are emotionally wounded human beings who are caught in a repeating cycle of trauma. It seems that men (male energy) are prone to repeating the abusive patterns on those they love and women (female energy) continue to attract partners who will keep abusing them.
Note: Male/female energy does NOT necessarily relate to birth gender but rather encompasses the dominant energetic imprint found within a person and can be applied to any heterosexual, homosexual or non-binary relationship.
I have spoken more about the impact of the one being abused in another article, but for this one, I want to speak to those who may be acting out abusive behavior on others.
My ex-husband was abused and traumatized as a child when he grew up in a religious cult. He did not receive love and protection from his parents and was subjected to terrible experiences that shaped his inner worldview as a place that was scary, uncertain, unloving, unfeeling and empty.
Being an empathetic person, I was able to see past his trauma and see the real him, underneath all of his pain. I wanted to help him overcome it, to help him heal his past and to become everything I knew he could be. Instead, over time, he devolved into familiar patterns and eventually became a monster himself, almost destroying me in the process.
I know that he loved me, but he was unwilling to face the pain of his past in order to heal. He refused to acknowledge there was anything wrong, and over time he became the very type of abusive man he promised to protect me from.
He was caught in a repeating cycle of trauma and refused to reflect on any of his destructive behaviors. He chose to numb his pain with alcohol and drugs until all that was left was the monster inside him. The man that I had loved was gone.
I firmly believe that he never wanted to cause me harm or to end up being my abuser, and yet that’s exactly what happened as he re-enacted his unresolved trauma. He became his greatest fear, and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. I wasn’t able to help him because he was the one who needed to do the self-work to bring about his own healing.
The Virus Among Us
We live in a profoundly sick society that teaches men to hide their emotions and seems to praise aggression and brutality, while restricting and viewing women and those ‘weaker’ as property, play things or insignificant.
This idea of what a ‘man’ is in today’s society is a gross misrepresentation of the true masculine energy and is causing untold damage to every boy and man that ingests this message as truth.
Men are taught from a very young age not to cry or display emotion, not to process their feelings, and to never share or even acknowledge those emotions. They are told and shown by other men and media to just ‘shove it down’ and keep moving, because that’s what ‘men’ do. They see aggression and dominance praised among other men and this, in turn, shapes how a young boy views the role of a man as he grows into adulthood.
The repression of emotional trauma always leads to more pain, and if that is combined with an abusive and traumatic childhood, it’s pretty much guaranteed that this pain will come out in very unhealthy ways until it is dealt with.
The Father Influence
If a Father or father-figure was abusive toward a young boy or their Mother, that boy is likely to grow up and continue this pattern of abuse unconsciously, because it has been ingrained in his psyche that this is ‘how men act’ and ‘resolve conflict’. They will regurgitate this abuse toward their loved ones, feeling internally vindicated as they ‘keep their wife/partner/kids in check’ without even realizing the effect they are having.
They will unintentionally view women and children as property and expect to be ‘respected’ and ‘obeyed’ at all times. This can be and is reinforced with religion and cultural influence so when these men don’t feel ‘respected’, they will react in anger, repeating old traumas and abusing the very ones they should be protecting.
If a Father or father-figure abuses a young girl or their Mother, that girl will grow up with a distorted understanding of male love and think it’s normal to experience physical and sexual assault from their husband/boyfriend/partner. They will not have any healthy boundaries in place that protect them, or even raise red flags, as subconsciously they find nothing unusual about fearing the person they love.
They have an inner worldview that portrays a misrepresentation of love mixed with fear and may never understand why they continually attract partners that continue the abusive behavior. They will unintentionally view harsh male energy as ‘protection’ and ‘manly’ when in reality it is subjugation. They may seek ‘power’ in exploiting their own bodies sexually as they strive to gain the upper hand over men which leads to apathy, depression, anxiety and reinforced feelings of low self-worth.
The Mother Influence
If a boy does not receive affection and love from his Mother or mother-figure, resentment and anger grows at being denied this crucial emotion, and he will grow up viewing the world as uncaring and unfeeling. He will close off his emotions even further as he denies the feelings of emotional abandonment, and anger will start to consume him.
He will unconsciously not trust women and will numb his pain with vices to ignore the acknowledgement of feeling unworthy of being loved. He will attract women who perpetuate this unfeeling, unloving and cruel vibration and will find that he never has a partner who seems to genuinely love or care for him. This will continue to reinforce his feelings of emotional abandonment leading to depression and self-destructive behavior.
If he DOES find a woman who will love him, he will subconsciously destroy the relationship as he feels unworthy of receiving love, because the lack of love from his Mother has distorted his perception of his own worthiness.
If the Mother was emotionally or physically abusive toward her husband/partner as well as the boy, he will grow up with a seething rage and hatred toward women that he may not even be aware of at the conscious level. He will remain locked in a personal vibration of this trauma and will attract women who will continue the cycle of abuse, reinforcing his fears that all women are predatory, unloving and destructive as he relives his trauma with this familiar and toxic female energy.
If a young girl does not receive affection, love and support from their Mother or mother-figure, she will grow up uncertain of her value and worth as a woman and will set down a path of destructive behavior trying to gain validation from external sources that can lead to drug abuse, extreme promiscuity and narcissistic tendencies as she lashes out at those around her that don’t give her the type of ‘love’ she desires. Her distorted outlook causes her to mask her true emotions with cold and possessive behavior as she desperately tries to ‘keep’ someone in her life. If the Mother or mother-figure was also emotionally or physically abusive toward the young girl, she will mimic the toxic behavior when she is older and is likely to turn into an abuser herself.
Regardless of the gender, any parent or parental figure who is emotionally or physically abusive, uncaring and unloving toward their children or partner will cause immense and lasting trauma in the psyche as well as leave an energetic and biological imprint on the child’s brain and DNA.
Without loving intervention, these traumatized children will grow up to act out their unresolved pain on those around them and continue to worsen as time goes on.
Understanding the Root Cause
There is a simple Truth that has been hidden for thousands of years from mainstream thought which is the awareness of the masculine and feminine energy archetypes of Divine Love (Source/Creator/God/Universe). This creative Source of all life that operates as a Divine Frequency of Love has many energetic imprints, but by far the most relevant to this article is that of the combined energy of the male and female archetypes.
For those who are not familiar with this terminology, I will explain. An archetype means ‘an original that has been imitated’ or ‘the original pattern or model from which all things of the same kind are copied.’
The Divine Masculine/Feminine energies are the Original archetypes of Source which embodies both energies equally, in perfect harmony and order. This is why we distinguish them by saying ‘Divine’ because they are in their purest form, originating from Source, unblemished and unsullied from the Original blueprint.
For thousands of years we have lived under a dominant and exploitative male energy that has permeated every part of society, culture and religion across the globe. Not only do women and children suffer greatly, but men suffer greatly as well. They suffer from a mass delusion that has been orchestrated to keep their true purpose a secret, and they suffer at the hands of other men that consider them ‘not manly’ or ‘weaker’ and are attacked just as viciously as women and children.
We have been fed a constant stream of lies and manipulation designed to emasculate men, appeal to their base urges, and to deceive us about the true nature of the Divine Masculine archetype – that of the Fierce Protector, Gentle Warrior and Compassionate Leader who loves openly, freely and without restriction.
Instead, we live in a world set on fire by endless war, greed and divisiveness with a desire to dominate, exploit and annihilate anything perceived to be a roadblock to the end goal. Those who orchestrate world events (females included) are embodying this distorted masculine vibration and have become tyrannical overlords who are literally destroying our planet, committing mass genocide, and distorting the Truth to keep us all enslaved to a vibration of fear and chaos.
Through our DNA we have been passed down a very toxic energetic blueprint from our ancestral lineage at the quantum and biological level that impacts both men and women (1, 2, 3, 4, 5). An imprint of this harmful masculine energy has overtaken the collective like a virus, distorting the true and glorious nature of the male energy and replacing it with a wild beastly energy that lacks understanding, empathy and self-awareness and which thrives on chaos, control and domination over those deemed weaker.
There is also an equally toxic feminine energy that ties right into the masculine to create a symbiotic relationship of destruction and chaos. This distorted female energy tends to view patriarchy and misogyny as the ‘right order’ and is usually reinforced by religion and culture. If these types of women view their male counterparts as ‘weak,’ they will become the abusers and act out harmful behavior on their spouse and children as they feel that ‘someone’ needs to take the role of the ‘man’.
This energy is pervasive and has an energetic frequency similar to the masculine, where there is a desire to control, dominate, exploit and punish. Women who are currently operating from this poisonous energy will be cold, bitchy, aggressive, possessive, controlling, emotionally stunted, predatory and narcissistic and will be the abusers toward their loved ones.
These toxic representations of male and female energies have been the norm for quite some time, however we are seeing the re-emergence of the TRUE blueprint returning as people become more self-aware and awaken to the understanding of their own Divine nature.
This doesn’t mean that ALL men and women are currently operating from this place of unawareness or destruction, but the ones who aren’t are the very ones who have looked at the monster within and chose the path of self-love and healing.
These men and women encompass the TRUE energy of the Divine Masculine/Feminine archetypes as they choose to live with integrity, compassion, honor and love.
By understanding the differences between the Divine archetypes and the current toxic versions running rampant, we can actively choose to be in alignment with the true representation of the Masculine/Feminine energies.
Confronting the Monster
So how does one look at the monster within? What does that even mean?
Quite simply, it means that we need to have a time of deep and HONEST self-reflection, the kind that makes us remember and feel ALL the emotional pain we have buried deep inside.
It means remembering the harm and pain that was inflicted on you, as well as the harm and pain you have inflicted on others. It means recognizing that we are ALL monsters in some way, whether deliberately or subconsciously as we act out our trauma unknowingly.
Most of all, it’s coming to a place of penetrating awareness that we are operating out of a place of fear and darkness, instead of a place of Love and wholeness. When this type of honest and raw self-reflection takes place, an inner awareness starts to grow and bubble up to the surface of our consciousness.
We then come to a realization that we don’t have to be defined by our past and chained to patterns of repeated cycles of trauma, but instead we can choose to grow and evolve from the lessons of our suffering. We can learn how to cultivate self-love and to forgive those who have harmed us, while also learning how to forgive ourselves for having harmed others.
Bringing Balance to the Masculine and Feminine Energies
Every human being encompasses both Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine archetypal energies. What brings conscious healing to men who are suffering and re-enacting their trauma on those they love is to acknowledge and embrace their inherent Feminine energy and to confront the distortion of the masculine that is permeating their awareness.
Men are told that to be vulnerable and display/feel emotions is a sign of weakness, but nothing could be further from the truth! It takes enormous strength and inner resolve to be honest with ourselves and confront our pain. If it was easy, we wouldn’t see emotionally stunted and wounded adults causing so much harm to the ones they profess to love the most!
The Divine Feminine energy brings emotional intelligence, empathy, compassion, nurturing and love to balance the toxic male energy running rampant in our society. Men must learn to integrate this Feminine energy so that it brings healing and wholeness into their lives and allows them to remember the True meaning of what it means to be a man.
It is admirable and commendable to face your pain, and any person who says otherwise is still believing the lie of this distorted energy. The Divine Feminine energies are here to assist you in processing your emotions and pain from the past. It will give you the understanding needed to shed the layers of toxicity and to learn how to love yourself so that you can become whole again.
What brings conscious healing to women who are suffering and re-enacting their trauma on those they love is to acknowledge and embrace their inherent Divine Masculine energy and to confront the distortion of the feminine that is permeating their awareness.
The Divine Masculine energy brings strength, integrity, passion, rational thinking, logic, protection and insight to balance the toxic feminine energy. Women must learn to integrate this Masculine energy into their Feminine energy so that it brings healing and wholeness into their lives and allows them to remember the True meaning of what it means to be a woman – that of the Intuitive Healer, Compassionate Nurturer and Wise Supporter.
When both Divine energies are acknowledged and integrated within our vibrational awareness, profound healing occurs – healing from our past trauma and pain, emotional healing, spiritual healing and even physical healing.
The time for men and women to reclaim their inherent, powerful gifts and embody the Divine Masculine/Feminine energy is here. Our world needs men who are emotionally intelligent, operate from a place of love and compassion, and who fight against tyranny and oppression in all of its forms. Our world needs women who are nurturing, healing, intuitive, empathic, loving, wise and supportive to be a source of respite for anyone who is floundering in the harshness of their environment.
May each of us do the necessary self-work to confront the monster within so we can shed the layers of pain and restore balance to the sacred union of the Masculine/Feminine energies.